Homesick

Being back in the States brings back feelings I didn’t think I still had for this place, feelings of homesickness. {M} had warned me before our trip, he had jokingly told me: “I’ll probably have to drag you back home with me to the Netherlands.” I had laughed at him and assured him that he was wrong about that. Well, he might not be… I can’t explain exactly what it is, it feels like a part of my heart is here (if that makes sense). It’s not just the people, the vastness, nature, driving for hours and still be in the same state. It’s also the stores, products, smells, the houses, the cars and I can go on and on. I am enjoying our roadtrips and everything I see around me and I don’t want to think about going back to the Netherlands yet. Fortunately for me I don’t have to right now, so I am taking it all in and am fully enjoying our time here. It just took me by surprise to feel this way. It shouldn’t I guess since we have made many wonderful and special memories here, our {J} was born here, we became a family of three here. Part of our journey took place here. It feels so good to be back again with the three of us. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life back in the Netherlands. I am a strong believer in being happy wherever I am with who I am because wherever I am I take myself with me. So living somewhere else will not make me happier or will make life easier in any way. It’s just that I do feel a different kind of happy and peace being here. For now I just continue to enjoy being here, soaking it all in and for later it will give me plenty of food for thought.